S5E15 - "Follow the Leader"

I believe we're due for another Locke and Ben adventure now.  Thank God, I'm sick of that soap opera horseshit going on in 1977.  I have to admit, though, the couple of gun battles in the last episode were pretty cool.  

03:25  They're from the future.

06:25  Alpert watches them all die.  Show's over, folks.  End of episode, no sixth season, time to go home.

12:50  What they should do is, they should just drop a bomb on the bomb.

15:27  Hitting a girl?  Not cool, man! 

17:44  Hurley cracks my shit up sometimes.

21:59  Okay, this is turning into some circularity Primer shit going on.  Locke is telling himself what to do via Alpert.  So is it all just bullshit?  Who knows!

This is the simplified version.

27:14  Motherfucking Sayid.  Bad-goddamn-ass.

34:32  Locke's gonna give another speech.

35:43  Way to go, Locke!  Subvert those island power structures!

40:13  John Locke, the Moses of Dick Island.

41:34  Uh oh, Jacob's going down.

S5E14 - "The Variable"

I fucking hate math.

03:32  See, further proof that women aren't good at science!

05:23  Make time, get it?

12:07  Mrs. Hawking is also kind of a bitch.  Dang!

15:31  McCoughnadickname:  "Twitchy."

17:23  Condition that effects his memory?  Did we know about this yet?  I don't remember that.  Maybe there's a condition affecting my memory.

21:42  McCoughnadickname:  "H.G. Wells."

25:33  Shit's about to hit the fan, methinks.

26:08  Cody's down!  I mean, uh, Faraday's down!

29:31  I think this is the first character so far to have mommy issues.  How groundbreaking!

32:31  More shit, more fan.

35:14  Not sure how I feel about the rules being changed all of the sudden.  Now we can change the past, guys!  Hooray!  Season six!

37:48  Uh oh, pasketti-ohs!  Widmore knows where his daughter is now.

38:24  Oh, Desmond and Daniel are brothers too.  Pretty soon it's going to turn out everybody on that fucking island is related, and people are going to start having idiot inbred retard babies.

40:24  Faraday's gonna get capped. 

40:34  Killed by his own mother.  Some kind of weird backwards-ass Freudian thing going on there.  (Guess you were wrong about the variables, huh Faraday?)

S5E13 - "Some Like it Hoth"

This episode must be based around somebody's obsession with The Empire Strikes Back.

02:26  Little Miles has the Shining!

06:14  Shady dealings going on in grid 334.

09:36  So Miles's dad is on the island.  Okay then.

15:05  I'm guessing the stupid vacuum cleaner Miles uses doesn't actually do anything.  He doesn't seem to need it anywhere but during that first flashback appearance.

17:18  Miles has a Naomi Dorritt boner.  Hey, I don't blame him.

And neither can you.  Le sigh.

21:29  Dr. Chang is this week's host on . . .  Dicks on an Island!

21:48  And is apparently also Miles's dad.  Okay then.

26:01  Notice the stuff on the blackboard was about ancient Egypt.  Hieroglyphics, Egypt, etc.

30:51  Oh shit, those guys want his taco!

31:24  What lies in the shadow of the statue?  That's that crazy shit the bounty hunter asked Lapidus.

34:17  Oh Jesus, Hurley is writing Empire.  I was sadly correct about the episode title.

37:03  Well that just complicated things, Sawyer.

41:08  Ooh, Ann Arbor is mentioned again.  Too bad the episode's over.  Hey, it's Faraday!

S5E12 - "Dead is Dead"

01:45  Is this a younger Charles Widmore?

05:20  That crate must be carrying Locke's coffin.  I wonder what's in it.

08:06  You baby-snatchin' sumbitch.

11:01  I don't think Locke believes him.  I sure don't.

13:08  Goddamn!  Shotgun blast to the chest!  Take that, Cesar!

17:14  Widmore can't kill a baby!  What a puss.

22:04  I'm getting pretty sick of Sun's surprise-face, too.  You know, mouth closed, eyes wide, neck all stickin' up.

This is great acting.  Look at all that emoting!

24:55  But but but, multiple motherfuckers in Ben's group left the island and came back all the time.  Why aren't they banished?  Don't make sense!

27:48  I love the fact that Ben is scared shitless of Locke now.  It makes me smile.

30:52  Finally, we're going to get to see the temple!  Maybe.  Probably?  Oh no shit they're going underneath.

32:37  Oh, way to shoot Desmond, you dickface.

33:46  Well, I guess that's how Ben got all beat up.

New Radiohead video?  No, just Ben after getting fucked up by Desmond.

36:39  Ben fall down go boom.

39:42  Alex is back!  As a ghost!  A vengeful ghost?  Is she going to eat his soul?  Or at least kick him in the nuts?

S5E11 - "Whatever Happened, Happened"

02:04  Okay, great, Jin's saving Ben's life.  In the past.  I guess it had to happen, though, right?

05:44  Hey, it's Sawyer's ex-lady!  I guess we get to meet his daughter, too.

08:02  Cassidy's kind of a bitch, isn't she?

12:13  Oooooh, Jack is so jealous of Sawyer's power.

15:12  "The island wants to fix things itself"?  Jack's starting to sound like Locke now.

19:44  Hurley, you so dumb.  You can't even figure out how time travel works.

23:55  Are we going to find out what happened to Aaron now? 

24:35  OH SHIT DISAPPEARING BABY

25:26  See, that woman is supposed to look like Claire.  If Claire was a prostitute from Burbank.

31:39  It's okay Jack, I don't think the writers know either. Boosh!

35:41  Okay, so she's going to give Aaron to his grandma.  Fair enough.  But why was he all of the sudden not necessary to the plan?  Ben said everybody had to go back.  But we know that not everybody made it.

39:33  "He'll forget that this ever happened."  How convenient!

40:50  Spooky temple!

S5E10 - "He's Our You"

02:15  Those are some fat cocks.

09:17  The next level is the ice board.  It's like, the hardest one, too.

15:04  Now Sayid gets to see Ben's daddy issues first-hand.

17:38  And what are you, Ben?  What.  Are.  You?

19:18  Billie Holliday is a pretty good sountrack for torture, really.

19:30  Oh shit, their torturer is Larry!  (Perhaps you've also met his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.)

20:42  He's giving him a sugar cube with acid on it.  Sayid is about to trip balls, man!

26:35  LSD is a hell of a drug.

31:19  Sayid's getting his dirty freak on with this undercover copstress.  But man, if she's as drunk as she should be by now . . . I think that's against protocol.

32:11  Oh, not a cop, but a kind of bounty-hunter-but-not-really.

35:58  Ah, it was young Ben, bustin' out Sayid.

36:20  Called it.  But I think this one was pretty damn obvious.

37:40  Okay, how did he get through security with those damn things on his hands?  There's no fucking way.

40:42  Oh shit, you are a killer!  A child-killer!  But, hey, you can't change the past, so . . . no dice.