S1E17 - ". . . In Translation"

HA HA HA HA GET IT LOST IN TRANSLATION OH THE HUMOR OF IT ALL.  But seriously, if Bill Murray doesn't show up singing an old Roxy Music tune, I'ma be pissed.

00:01  First shot is of the Korean guy.  Lost in translation.  I get it.  We're going to learn about who he kills for hiswife's dad.

03:07  Augustus Hill's gonna have to choAW HELL NAW SHE JUST SMACKED HIM RIGHT IN THE IDIOT FACE

03:19  LOL CULTURAL DIFFERENCES AMIRITE

06:56  Note to self:  Korean dude is named Jin.  Not Jen, not Gin, but Jin.

07:29  Playing golf with them rocks is gonna tear up your clubs, dude.

10:12  PRODUCER:  LEONARD DICK

10:55  Would an architect really know how to build a boat?

11:57  Okay, who set the fuckin' raft on fire?  I say . . . THE OTHERS. 

13:11  I can think of a great Rudy Ray Moore clip to put on here (from Petey Wheatstraw,) but I think that may be crossing the line into racism. 

14:53  Is that the puppy he gives Sun later on?

15:06  Wait a minute, that guy's daughter is watching Hurley on TV.  What the fuck?  Nice touch.

Who's this fat white dude on our TV?

15:43  Called the dog at 14:53.  I am so good at this show.

16:14  Also, for the record, I don't think Jin set the raft on fire, he probably burned himself trying to put it out.

17:52  He's still got the damn handcuffs on!  You'd think they could find a way to get 'em off after a month on the island.

19:36  You know, I always got the impression that Locke was a Bad Guy on this show, for some reason.  I don't know why that is.  But he is totally my favorite person on the entire show, by far.  Total 100% badass.

20:13  "Scared, aren't ya?"  No, McCoughnadick, I have the feeling he's about to kick your roundeye ass.

27:32  I know some Korean.  Apparently Jin is just reciting the lyrics to "Detroit Rock City" for some reason.

27:47  "What's this gibberish my wife's speaking?"

28:16  "Didn't see that comin'."  Really, Hurley?  'Cause I sure did.  (Go look it up, fuckers.)

28:48  McCoughnadickname:  "Betty".  I guess because she's a brunette?

36:42  I farted.  That doesn't have anything to do with the show, but I thought it was important enough to share.

37:16  Smooching!

39:14  Didn't expect it'd be Walt!  Stupid kid.

40:48  Another cheesy uplifting episode ending.  And no Bill Murray.  Fuck!

S1E16 - "Outlaws"

This episode is about people who are outside of the law.

01:47  I'd make a joke here, but domestic violence is never funny.

02:54  Is that a boar, or is Hurley just looking for a midnight snack?  HA HA FAT JOKES NEVER GET OLD AND I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON

03:38  Ooh, creepy whispering voices in the jungle.

05:03  Matthew McCoughnadickname:  "Mohammed" (for Sayid, obviously)

06:32  HOLY SHIT A TERMINATOR IN SAWYER'S HOTEL ROOM

12:19  Har har, you got all muddy.  This boar's got a vendetta.

13:05  She's worried about him getting lost.  But that's the name of the goddamn show!  They're all lost!  And while we're talking about the irony of a lost person getting meta-lost (or are they meta-lost already?), how big is this island that they haven't sort of circumnavigated it already?  I mean, they've only showed us beach, never any sort of rocky shore or anything preventing them from doing a complete circuit of the thing.  What the craps, come on!

16:52  So how is Evangeline Lilly a super-tracker all the sudden?  And carte blanche means white card, not blank check.  I mean, I guess she could be translating it idiomatically, but fuck her. 

17:53  McCoughnadickname:  "Sassafrass"

20:14  This chick totally wants some Sawyer action, for real.

21:21  Drink it up, murderer.

21:32  McCoughnadick took a drink too.  I WONDER WHO HE KILLED.  CERTAINLY NOT THE MAN WHO LED HIS FATHER TO KILL HIMSELF AND HIS MOTHER, HUR DE DUR DAH DOH

23:38  She just said the board has a vendetta too.  Maybe I was a writer for this show and didn't even know it!

26:17  So the con man who got his parents killed runs a food truck?  Fucking hipster. 

26:50  OH WAIT ITS THE DRAMA TEACHER FROM MY SO CALLED LIFE.  Being mocked by Ricky Vasquez must have really sent him on a downward spiral.

28:17  Aww, Sawyer pussed out.  So who did he kill, if not Sawyer Prime?

30:02  "So we're in hell, huh?"  Please don't tell me this show ends up being some existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre "No Exit" "Hell is other people!" shit.

34:32  "You're not alone."  I should post this song that . . . oh wait.

36:46  Of course it wasn't really Sawyer Prime.  I mean, I saw that coming a mile away.  Oldest trick in the book, man.  Always double-check your information.  Philip Marlowe would never have fallen for that.  Er, except I think he did, once. 

40:57  "What'd she give ya?"  A handie! 

41:12  Aaaaand McCoughnadick just realized that he met Jack's father.  I bet he doesn't say anything to Jack about it!