S3E23 - "Through the Looking Glass (Part 2)"

Alright, Walt says John has work to do.  So let's get to work!

01:08  JACK LOVES KAAAATE JAAAACK LOOOVES KAAATE

02:18  Oh come on, show us what the newspaper says already.  Who died?

06:25  Is the anarchist going to stop following orders?  How apropos. 

06:38  Or he's just going to murder a couple of women.  Blind obedience up in this station!

07:02  Oh snap, harpoon to the chest!  Nice shot, Desmond.

09:19  He's not out of town, he's dead.  DEEEAAAADDDDDD! 

12:34  If they're waiting to hear Ben's voice, Ben and Jack shouldn't be able to hear them.  They'd have to have the button pressed down.  Dramatic license is for queers.

13:11  That wasn't the Jin, Sayid, and Bernard being shot, that was obviously the bad guys being shot by Locke.

13:38  Finally Jack does something right for a change.  (He beats the fuck out of Ben.)

15:35  So a musician has to crack the code.  By picking up good vibrations.  I WONDER IF CHARLIE IS GETTING EXCITATIONS.  (True story:  I used to think Mike Love was singing "egg citations," even though that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.)

16:57  But the mother and child reunion / is only an island away.
 

19:05  Oh, it wasn't Locke, it was just a fake execution.  And now it seems many of the members of his band are going rogue.  Intriguing.

19:58  Holy shit, Hurley did something badass.  First death by VW minibus we've seen on the show.

20:24  Dear Christ, Sayid just snapped that dude's neck with his goddamn legs!

21:08  Haha!  "I didn't believe 'im."  Neither did I, Sawyer, neither did I.  Actually, that's not true, I did believe him.  But oh well, he did some horrible shit, I can accept his death.

24:28  Don't you remember?  Your father's dead, I said!  DDEEEEAAAAAADDDDD!

26:52  Of course, tapping out "Good Vibrations" isn't as easy as it sounds - are we tapping out each tiny note and ornamentation, or simply the most "important" notes?   Oh, it was the bridge.  How the fuck was he supposed to know that?  Not the verse, not the chorus, but the goddamn bridge?
 

28:45  Wait a minute, was Ben telling the truth about parachute lady?  And how does Mikhail keep rising from the fucking grave like that? 

30:07  Also, wouldn't the water pressure have evened itself out, so that Charlie didn't need to drown?  I don't know how those types of thing work.  (I'm not a physicist, I'm a fucking philosopher.)  I mean, there's a big damn hole there where water should rise up, but it doesn't, and then . . . I dunno, man, I dunno.

30:41  NOT PENNY'S BOAT

31:12  Goodbye, Charlie.  Your last two episodes were badass.

34:54  Once again, Locke does something that everyone else thinks is the absolute worst thing possible.

36:08  I don't know what the problem is, nobody's answering the damn phone anyway.

37:41  Wait a minute.  These aren't flashbacks, these are futurebacks!  I mean flash-futures!  I mean . . .

39:51  Hey, it's Kate!  Now what was the goddamn newspaper article about?  Was Sawyer the one who died?

43:29  Okay, we don't find out who died.  Which for some reason reminded me that we never actually found out why the fuck Libby was in the mental hospital and what her deal with Hurley was.

S3E22 - "Through the Looking Glass (Part 1)"

Okay, so last we left Charlie, he was full of people and about to get shot.  Or something.  The other people on the island are going to blow up some Others who may or may not be Hostiles but are probably not Dharma.  Season 3 has been a mixed bag, people.  Like chex mix, you know?  There's the chex and those weird sort of crispy corn snack thingies which aren't bad, but then there's the fucking pretzels in there that just piss you off and you're like hey why can't you just leave out the pretzels if I wanted pretzels to ruin my snacking I'd go pretzel myself.  Right?

00:27  Jack, why do you have a beard?  You drunk.

03:22  Jump, Jack, jump!

09:17  Charlie's getting his ass kicked by a couple womens. 

12:13  I'd like to see a bunch of explosions happen right about now.  Don't let me down!

13:22  That's one!

13:27  And two.

13:32  Ah, fuck, Jin, you missed?  Twice?

14:08  Double-fuck, they're all fucking caught.

15:59  Oh Jack, your ex-wife is all preggers now.  Bet that makes you feel just great.

17:24  Punch Jack in the face, Rose.  Please!

19:10  I love this new Charlie.  New and improved - now with balls!

I should have turned on SafeSearch when googling for this image.

20:33  Oh, way to go Bernard.  Rambo you are not.  Spill some more beans, why doncha.

21:44  Temple?  Is this some weird Jewish cult?

25:28  Yeah, Des, I guess you're going to have to go down in there anyway.

26:31  YOU ALL EVERYBODY

27:25  Chomp those pain pills, Jacko.

30:43  Alright, rescue party, let's do this shit! 

31:13  Now that is one passionate smooch there, Juliet and Jack.  Let's hope she doesn't die, which I am guessing is going to happen sooner rather than later.

32:32  Ha!  Charlie called him Cyclops!

33:31  Isn't it about time for Locke to pop out of the mass grave and start kicking ass?  Seriously. 

35:41  How the fuck did Hurley catch up with them?  There's no way.  (He is too fat to move swiftly, you see).

36:31  At first I thought that said "Rascal Flatts," but it's "Pascal Flats."  I doubt that was coincidental.

You know, I couldn't even name a single one of their songs.

37:30  There's ol' Lockie-boy!  Still alive, but probably in quite a bit of gut-pain.  (What with the whole being shot thing.)

38:55  First, why would Locke want to shoot himself?  Second, why the holy hell is Walt there?  He's totally grown about three feet, too.

S3E21 - "Greatest Hits"

Please Lord don't let this be a clip show.

01:04  Who's this schmuck jumping in a canoe?

03:09  I like the boom.

05:03  YOU ALL EVERYBODY

09:45  You are going to die, Charlie. 

14:44  Look at Charlie, stepping up to the plate.

15:03  Who the fuck ever asked Jack to make a decision?  Whoever it is, I want to hurt them.

16:41  Oh, that's Carl in the canoe.  Good old Carl!
 

No, not that Carl.

17:39  Alex is cutting up one of those white bunnies.

23:01  Retcon:  The Drive Shaft ring is now a family heirloom bearing the initials of Dexter Stratton.  Who cares!

26:28  Dang, that was a pretty good smooch between Charlie and Claire.  Too bad he's going to die.

27:08  Covent Garden tube station?  I've been there.  That's the one that has about fifty million steps going down to the platform.  Okay, okay, wikipedia says it's only 193 - still, it's "equivalent to a ten-story building."
 

And I walked down the whole thing.  For some reason, that was the first and only time I went to this station.  Odd, that.

32:04  Way to have your last conversation with Hurley end with you calling him fat, Charlie.  You insensitive prick.

36:46  Aww, his list is for Claire.  How sweet.  But kind of stupid.  But sweet.  And stupid.

38:47  Oh no, Desmond's going to ruin everything by killing his stupid self.

39:13  Thwack!  Guess I was wrong.  Man, everybody on this goddamn island must have debilitating headaches constantly.  So many concussions, too.  Why hasn't anyone died from a brain-bleed yet?

41:33  I'm going to assume the place will flood with water as soon as he hits the damn switch. 

41:50  Or, the place is full of people and he's going to get shot.  Whichever.

S3E20 - "The Man Behind the Curtain"

I've got high hopes after that surprisingly great episode that followed hours and hours of bullshit.  Let's pull back the curtain, see if we can find some more goodness buried at the end of the season.

01:07  Who's this Emily pooping out a baby out of nowhere?  I thought none of the mothers made it to the third trimester. 

02:16  Oh, so it's not the island, it was just out in the woods somewhere. 

02:54  Ah, it's Ben's parents.  And she died giving birth.  It's like, thematic somethingorother.

05:25  Yes, tell us about Jacob.

06:39  Locke is the human lie detector.

09:22  Oh, so Ben's dad is the dead body they found in the van.  Fair enough.  Wonder what they ended up doing with his skull.

10:14  Hey hey running Bakunin!
  

10:45  Nice explanation of why he's not dead.  "Hurrr it wasn't set to a lethal level."

11:54  Nobody gives a shit that Locke is beating the ever-loving fuck out of Mikhail.  And I like that.

14:27  Yes, what do you mean "natives"?

15:10  When your dad's a creepy Uncle Rico, and your mom's an apparently undead redhead from True Blood (you know, the one with the demon baby,) you're gonna end up pretty fucked-up, just like Ben did.

19:03  Ben's dad blames Ben for his mom's death.  Yet more fucking daddy issues on this show.

22:18  I kind of wish they'd just fucking shoot Jack or something, seriously. 

24:02  Ol' Bunnicula there didn't explode - I guess it's safe.  (Is that #8?  Those things must live a long-ass time.)

25:13  Suddenly Susan dude ages really well, I see.

27:32  Oooh, spooky house.

29:04  I bet Jacob's that bunny!

29:33  Uh.  So Ben's just plain nuts, apparently.  I actually kind of like that.

31:36  Okay, maybe not.  Spooky house!

35:34  Is Ben gonna kill his own father?  Or is . . .  Jacob going to do it for him?

37:35  Yup.

38:15  What the fuck?  Some kind of Jonestown shit going on?  The hell happened?

39:13  Ah, Mr. Alpert and the "Hostiles" happened.

41:13  His gun is a cane?  Or wait, his . . . hold on, what?  How'd he get the gun?

42:02  We know Locke's not going to die.  He's got Loganesque healing powers, this guy.

And obviously I'm not the first person to think so.

S3E19 - "The Brig"

02:09  "Don't you know where we are?"  No, and neither do we.  Out with it, old man!

04:00  Kate thinks peeing is romantic.  Yuck.

05:35  McCoughnadickname:  "Tarzan."

09:40  I got a gesture for you, Ben.

13:11  Sawyer's going apeshit, man. 

17:07  Ooh, I think Sayid's met his badass match.

20:49  I knew Locke wouldn't kill his dad.

24:01  Oh wait, is it going to be Locke's dad in there instead of Ben?

24:16  Yup.

25:28  Maybe Rousseau lives in the boat. Curious as to what she wants to do with the dynamite, though.

27:11  This dude's eyeliner freaks me out.
 

Makeup by Brooke Shields.

28:06  Oh heck, there's a Sawyer/Locke's dad connection?  Oh shit, he's the one that conned Sawyer's parents!

30:42  Maybe Locke's dad is Satan himself.

31:45  Called it at 28:06, mollyfocks.

36:43  You did not just rip up that letter. 

36:51  Speaking of Sawyer going apeshit . . . .

37:46  I knew Locke was going to say "Thank you."  I knew it.

39:02  There's ol' Jack, being a dick, as usual.

40:47  Locke's gone rogue!