S1E09 - "Solitary"

No clue what the title of this one refers to.  I dunno, maybe another cave-in or something.  Fuck it.  Let's watch this shit!

00:34  Sometimes Arabic writing just looks like pictures of boobs (also referred to as "tits.")

01:29  Redneck Dick Nickname (Redneck Dickname?) #32:  "Dr. Quinn"

06:11  Holy shit, electricity!

06:41  Who the fuck is Alex?

09:18  This Ethan guy is from Louisville.  And he's played a creepster extraordinaire on more than one episode of Law and Order.

12:37  Okay, shit's getting all conspiratorial now.  I like.

17:35  Sayed hardly has any hair on his armpits.  Is that an Arab thing?  Or just a TV thing?

19:45  "You didn't hear about the polar bear?"

21:14  Speculation: Sodium pentothal.

22:43  Dang, it was just a sedative.  I was close, though.

25:13  Others!

25:41  I want to write a song about this show.  I shall call it "Freakin' in the Jungle."

28:29  It would have been awesome if the music box played "Cool Jerk."

32:11  Hurley's getting a little homophobic there.  What a fag!

36:10  Ha!  This bish crazy!

40:16  Oh God, the uplifting music when Redneck Dick shows up.  Why does every episode have some weepy melodramatic cheese moment near the end that makes me want to punch myself in the dick?

S1E08 - "Confidence Man"

00:56  If this was HBO, we'd be seeing that dong.  Just sayin'.

05:51  Apparently whiny pretty-boy over here plays a vampire on some TV show.  Just one more reason to hate him.

07:26  Matthew McCoughnadick called Matthew Fox a commie.  That's funny.

10:40  It's like Mathew McCoughnadick gets off on being withholding.  HA!  Arrested Development reference!  Score one for the blogger!

14:18  I think Locke bonked dude on the head - I mean, he has a reason to want to stay on the island (Legs, etc.)

15:03  Punch, dick!  (Not a punch to the dick, mind you.  Well, I mean, a punch to an dick, I guess, but . . . okay this is confusing I'm sorry.)

18:12  You know, I kind of wouldn't mind if Blondie died.  I mean, I guess I love to hate her, you know?  But, damn.

20:44  Charlie just called Fattie fat.  AND HOLY GOD A TICKER ON TOP OF THE SCREEN - Movie of the Week, "Saving Private Ryan" on Veteran's Day (November 11) 6:30 pm.  Set your DVRs, people.

23:05  Matthew McCoughnadick keeps coming up with the most bizarre nicknames for people.  First he calls Evangeline Lily "Freckles" (when there are none to be seen), and now he calls Matthew Fox "Chico."  Dude isn't even Hispanic, man, come on!

28:45  Using the tongue.  Nice.  I wonder what his blood tastes like.

29:31  Punch, dick!  (No, not a punch to the . . . wait . . . never fucking mind.)

32:17  Korean guy really does not want to fuck with Augustus Hill.  Motherfucker shot a cop once!

39:53  That peanut butter thing was just stupid.  Hurr durr let's play pretend! Durp burp furp!

40:58  Aww, Sayed, don't go!  (Notice I'm spelling his name right, now?  I googled that shit.)

S1E07 - "The Moth"

Starring Richard Gere.

00:15  Yo, CrackHobbit, your guitar is way out of tune.  Don't break a string!

01:17  From now on, I'm gonna call the redneck dude Matthew McCoughnadick.

08:01  This show is like Folk Psychology 101:  "I know why you X.  You X because as a child you never Y."

12:38  Earthquake?  Volcano?  Nope, Hurley just fell down.

14:43  Oh great, trusting Blondie with something important.  That won't be a problem at all.

15:20  YOU ALL EVERYBODY!

23:17  But CrackHobbit, if you get crushed by a rock, who will take the ring to Mordor????  (Yes yes I know he played Merry and it was just Sam and Frodo carrying the ring, shut up).

24:50  Your boyfriend is dead!

30:55  Pop!

37:58  Well I'll be damned, Blondie actually did her part.

38:35  Bonk!

40:48  I totally thought they were gonna smooch there.

41:11  I bet CrackHobbit proves that he has grown as a person and throws the crack away all by himself!!!!!!!

41:42  Once again, I am the Master of Speculation.