Two episodes named after classic sixties rock songs that I can't stand in a row! Parse THAT sentence, grammarians. I fucking DARE you.
05:15 Crazy Korean dude is trying to drown Augustus Hill. Something something paralyzed joke something.
08:53 The bees! Noooo! The bees!!!!!!!
12:51 Is the way to avoid bee stings really by taking off your clothes, thereby exposing even more bare skin? Or, maybe, just maybe, they just wanted to show us a shirtless Matt Fox and Evangeline Lilly. Nahhh.
14:30 Crack-Hobbit with the tit joke. Nice.
15:06 Speculation: The bodies they found are themselves - from the future-past! September 10th! SPACE BEARS.
20:16 Aw, man. Did Korean Dick kill his father-in-law?
20:54 Slap, bitch! (That is a reference to some dude in the theater when I saw Spider-Man 3. I'll tell you the story sometime, it's pretty funny.)
23:29 Driveshaft's second album is titled Oil Change? Hilarious. I bet the first one's self-titled.
28:52 When are we going to find out that at least one, probably both of the Koreans actually speak English?
31:21 Apparently at 31:21. And without much of an accent, too. How about that shit? I call shenanigans on this, linguistically. There's no way she learned English that well in such a short period of time without some serious immersion . Stupid television.
36:28 Well, Augustus Hill, you just rendered those handcuffs unusable at any time in the future. Way to go.
40:26 I bet the beach people and the jungle people have some awesome snowball fights when winter comes.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
S1E05 - "White Rabbit"
I've never liked Jefferson Airplane. Except for that clip of Grace Slick drunk onstage in Germany calling the audience Nazis and shit.
00:17 Who are these dick kids?
01:14 Matthew Fox is just so dreamy.
04:53 Oh shit, it's the Cigarette Smoking Man on the shore!
08:00 Redneck Dick better be careful around the bitch, her dad's kind of big on the whole revenge thing.
17:22 I bet Fatty stole the water. It's the closest thing to food he can find.
20:08 See, he's chasing his father in the jungle just like he had to chase him down in life, man! And not just chase him literally but also like, you know, live up to him and shit. It's like, a metathingie. You know, an alladorry or whatever.
21:19 See, he's dangling from a cliff just like he was only precariously hanging on to his sanity, man!
23:30 Jack. John. Jack is a nickname of John. I bet Locke and Jack are the same person! It's like . . . you never see them together, except when they're alone, man!
27:54 Why don't they just go back to the cockpit to look for more food and water? Come on, stupid Losties!
33:38 Someone was smuggling Barbie dolls on the plane, apparently. I bet this means something.
36:41 That's a pretty cheap coffin if he can just smash it to bits with an aluminum baseball bat. Damn!
39:04 "Last week we were strangers. This week? Besties 4-ever!!!!!!!!!!!"
00:17 Who are these dick kids?
01:14 Matthew Fox is just so dreamy.
04:53 Oh shit, it's the Cigarette Smoking Man on the shore!
08:00 Redneck Dick better be careful around the bitch, her dad's kind of big on the whole revenge thing.
17:22 I bet Fatty stole the water. It's the closest thing to food he can find.
20:08 See, he's chasing his father in the jungle just like he had to chase him down in life, man! And not just chase him literally but also like, you know, live up to him and shit. It's like, a metathingie. You know, an alladorry or whatever.
21:19 See, he's dangling from a cliff just like he was only precariously hanging on to his sanity, man!
23:30 Jack. John. Jack is a nickname of John. I bet Locke and Jack are the same person! It's like . . . you never see them together, except when they're alone, man!
27:54 Why don't they just go back to the cockpit to look for more food and water? Come on, stupid Losties!
33:38 Someone was smuggling Barbie dolls on the plane, apparently. I bet this means something.
36:41 That's a pretty cheap coffin if he can just smash it to bits with an aluminum baseball bat. Damn!
39:04 "Last week we were strangers. This week? Besties 4-ever!!!!!!!!!!!"
S1E04 - "Walkabout"
I don't know what this means. I think it's an Australian thing.
00:25 Okay so if Locke was paralyzed but woke up not paralyzed, his muscles would still be atrophied all to hell and he wouldn't be able to walk. Then again, MIRACLE! So who the fuck knows.
03:14 Boers? What is this now a post-colonial allegory?
08:00 Oh, boars.
09:32 TPS Reports. I bet he fucks up a fax machine later on. With a hunting knife.
12:12 I could write better dialogue for this show. This is all a bunch of wishy-washy George Lucas crap. Me? I'd Quentin Tarantino up that shit. Or at the very least Kevin Smith it.
13:59 Blondie's still a bitch.
14:54 Hobbit's still on crack.
21:02 Locke's boss is a dick too. This whole show is a bunch of dicks. Just - dicks everywhere.
23:40 Aww, Hobbit and Fatty are bonding over . . . well apparently trying to fish using a spatula attached to a broom handle.
29:52 Silly Locke, you can't kill a demon tree with a hunting knife.
37:27 Hobbit's running out of crack.
40:24 I'll tell you what you can't do, Locke: Walk. Ha! Physical handicap!
00:25 Okay so if Locke was paralyzed but woke up not paralyzed, his muscles would still be atrophied all to hell and he wouldn't be able to walk. Then again, MIRACLE! So who the fuck knows.
03:14 Boers? What is this now a post-colonial allegory?
08:00 Oh, boars.
09:32 TPS Reports. I bet he fucks up a fax machine later on. With a hunting knife.
12:12 I could write better dialogue for this show. This is all a bunch of wishy-washy George Lucas crap. Me? I'd Quentin Tarantino up that shit. Or at the very least Kevin Smith it.
13:59 Blondie's still a bitch.
14:54 Hobbit's still on crack.
21:02 Locke's boss is a dick too. This whole show is a bunch of dicks. Just - dicks everywhere.
23:40 Aww, Hobbit and Fatty are bonding over . . . well apparently trying to fish using a spatula attached to a broom handle.
29:52 Silly Locke, you can't kill a demon tree with a hunting knife.
37:27 Hobbit's running out of crack.
40:24 I'll tell you what you can't do, Locke: Walk. Ha! Physical handicap!
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