S2E15 - "Maternity Leave"

Is someone else pregnant?  Or is Claire ditching the island to go raise her baby in the ocean?

02:12  The baby is allergic to peanut butter!

03:22  And of course, the baby isn't nearly as annoying as Claire's goddamn voice.

07:55  Just saw that Jeph Loeb is a Supervising Producer.  He's a comic book writer.  Uhm . . . that's all, I guess.

10:46  When we see a shot of the doctor unlocking a cabinet with a key on a not-so-subtly jingling keychain, we know to rewind and pause, so that we can see, yep, Dharma logo.

Also pictured:  Some dude from Louisville's ass.  (Not from the ass of Louisville but the ass of a guy from Louisville).

11:01  OH AND THE DOCTOR HAPPENS TO BE ETHAN. 

12:35  If these are the trees Eko likes, why is he killing them? :(

15:49  Oh, now we get close-ups of all the medicine with Dharma logos on the bottles.  So my keychain thing is kind of unimportant.

18:48  I was hoping that when he turned on the mobile, all the jets would explode and send flaming shrapnel down into the crib.  No luck.

20:52  A teenage girl?  Rousseau's daughter. 

24:32  Claire is high as shit right now, man!

25:37  Okay, so is this going to end up being some doomsday plague scenario, where the island is a place to repopulate the planet with those who have been vaccinated or are immune?  That would explain why they're only taking children or the strongest of the group.  Or it could be robots.

27:28  Welp, there's another goddamn hatch.

28:55  "This way."  You mean down the only hallway in the entire fucking bunker?  No shit?

30:19  Perhaps these "Others" are merely a backwoods acting troupe?

I mean "Otters".

37:41  I love Locke's zen attitude towards everything. 

37:59  Eko doesn't know what the alarm is for?  But he watched the damn film like the rest of them.  Does he not remember, or is he just saying that it wasn't explained?  In other words, bad writing (plot holes) or good writing (irony)?

40:54  Not sure of the significance of the beard cutting.  Obviously he's been letting it grow since he killed those men, but why?

44:25  Don't listen to him, John, he's playin' you!

S2E14 - "One of Them"

For the record, my plan is to at least get to episode 17 before my trip.  My buddy Brad said that episode is bad-ass, and he knows bad-ass.  Well, sometimes. I mean, he likes Pinback and thinks Lebron's a Judas.  But on the other hand . . . uh . .  he has a beard.  So there's that.

02:49  Man, these graphics are straight out of Call of Duty . . . unfortunately, this is supposed to be a television show.

04:32  I'm curious as to where all these goddamn tarps came from.  I admit I've only been on planes a few times, but I only saw two, maybe three tarps tops.  (Three tarps tops!)

05:44 It's the return of Rousseau no, no wait a minute, he's kidding - she didn't just say what I think she did, did she?

10:06  McCoughnadickname:  "Re-run."  Which is what he calls Hurley when he finds him dipping chee-tohs in an industrial sized jar of ranch dressing.

11:35  Is that Michael?  I figured they'd just let him disappear. 

12:03  Oh, no, it's just some other dude.  Henry Gale.  I've seen his face before.  I'm going to assume he's a Bad Guy - but I thought the same about Locke, so who knows.

12:55  SHOT THROUGH THE HEART!  AND YOU'RE TO oh that was just a lung, at most.

14:33  What the fuck is the Kurgan doing in Baghdad?!

19:13  McCoughnadickname:  "Bar-Bar"?  Does he mean Babar, the big grey elephant?  That makes more sense, since Hurley's, you know, a fatty.

19:19  Ha!  Hurley corrects him, and he responds with McCoughnadickname:  "Ammo"?  Hambone?  I keep rewinding and I still can't figure it out.

19:40  Oh snap, Hurley's like "I may be fat but at least I'm sexy!"

25:05  Oh, you done it now.  You done pissed off Sayid.  Not smart, Commanding Officer.

31:19  Don't squish it, Sawyer!

31:52  Sawyer, I said not to squish it.

32:44  This is totally turning into Dicks on an Island again.

35:30  Oh great, now Sayid's losing his shit.

37:08  Please oh please let Locke punch Jack in his fucking face.

38:36  Okay, what was that wack-ass hieroglyphics shit?

38:54  Goddammit, that look he gave Sayid.  Is he an Otter?  He's an otter, right?  Shit.

41:23  Who'da thunk Mr. Krabs spoke Arabic?

S2E13 - "The Long Con"

I bet you probably expect me to make some joke about the "long con" and compare it to other long things or something similar.  Not going to do it, people, I ain't here for cheap laughs!   

Testicles.

01:56  Locke claims he didn't destroy the statues 'cause he's superstitious.  I think my explanation was more accurate.

04:15  "Are you threatening me?"

07:10  Joke's on Sawyer:  I happen to know that that woman is a prostitute in turn-of-the-century South Dakota.

09:15  Sayid must not be a Nillson fan.

15:02  McCoughnadickname:  "Sheena." 

This Sheena.  I assume.

And not this Sheena.  I like this one better, though, to be honest.

 15:22  Obviously Ana Lucia fake-kidnapped Sun to start the uprising.  FALSE FLAG OPERATION RON PAUL 2012

15:49  I'm always 30 seconds ahead of Sawyer.

16:06  McCoughnadickname:  "Dimples."

21:27  Ana Lucia and Kate need to box.  Girlfight!

22:06  This episode's called "The Long Con," so I'm thinking Sawyer knew this woman wasn't going to fall for the originalcon all along, and is pulling a long con on her.

24:30  McCoughnadickname (Special Racist Edition):  "Tokyo Rose."

26:41  Called it!  Boosh!

27:33  Doesn't she already know who and what Sawyer is?  What else about him is so abhorrent that it would make her hate him?

30:26  Hey, they actually mentioned Michael!

30:40  Well, someone found the guns.

32:27  I wonder how this one's gonna play out.  Sawyer taking a turn for the dickest.  For once, he's more of a jackass than. . . Jack.

38:28  More like Duke Smellington, am I right?   But seriously, Glen Miller is white as shit.  They're receiving a station from somewhere east of the Mississippi though, judging by the call letters. 

40:33  Dang, Charlie's got a hard-on for Locke.  And, oh snap, Charlie was the head-bagger!  What a dick-face. My whole world is crashing down, people!

42:02  It was a con within a con within a con!  Conception!  Er, wait. . . .

S2E12 - "Fire + Water"

Fire plus water equals steam.  Everybody knows this.  That's gotta be the lamest Lost mystery so far.

03:19  A piano on the beach?  God I hope I don't see Harvey Keitel's penis.

06:09  Hey, I'd be jealous of Locke too.  He's got the sexy bald thing going on, and a few episodes ago he totally got laid by Peg Bundy.

11:56  These religious hallucinations are kind of freaking me out.

13:48  McCoughnadickname:  "Jethro."  I don't get that one.  Maybe the long curly hair reminds Sawyer of Ian Anderson. And don't forget, Jethro Tull was originally on - you guessed it - Island Records.

 15:26  Charlie, you lyin' bastard.

16:45  YOU ALL EVERYBODY!

21:31  I guess the question really is whether or not Charlie's back on the smack.  I can't decide.

25:57  Nice ballad, Charlie Underbite.

31:59  Charlie, don't go around stealin' babies, okay?

36:00  Damn, Locke, punching the face of a hobbit!

40:36  No sound, cheesy music, slow motion.  Who cares.

41:06  Joke's on her - Australians don't go to heaven.

41:27  And why is Locke saving the heroin?  Why doesn't he just dump it into the ocean?  Answer:  In case they need another goddamn macguffin later on in the series.

Once again, I'm not pleased with my commentary this episode.  So, uh . . . here.

I'm all wet.

 

S2E11 - "The Hunting Party"

First, I finally found that picture of Sayid on TV in the army recruitment office last episode.  So there it is.

And Kate still doesn't have freckles.

03:56  Uh oh, Michael's gone crazy.

06:19  Banana!

08:24  Sawyer's got a one-liner for everything, man. 

10:57  Hey look it's Julie Boring again.

15:07  Michael went commando?  What does his underwear situation have to do with anything? 

21:51  McCoughnadickname:  "Daniel Boone."

26:07  Ooh, now who is THIS motherfucker with the Grizzly Adams beard?

26:45  Someone with bullet-bending powers, apparently.

27:36  Way to get your nasty fingerprints all over the record, Underbite.

30:48  That's a lot of goddamn Otters.

31:33  Alex!  Rousseau wanted Alex back.  See, I catch these things.  I am a good watchener.

33:23  McCoughnadickname:  "Zeke"

42:09  Train an army, you say?  Well then, choo choo!

Okay I realize this update kind of sucked, so, to make up for it, and as a personal favor to my buddy Erin, here's a random shot of Michelle Rodriguez.