S1E03 - "Tabula Rasa"

"Tabula Rasa" - That's Latin for "blank slate" so I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that someone gets amnesia in this episode.

03:49 LOLOL he called him "Abdul"!  Racism can be fun, kids!

09:16 So wait, the transceiver's battery failed after just a couple minutes?  Aren't those things supposed to last a long long time, so that THEY CAN BE USED IN EMERGENCIES???  Come on, Gay-Gay  Abrams, shit!

15:34  This Asian dude is an asshole too.  This show should just be called "Dicks on an Island."

19:15 "Everyone deserves a fresh start."  TABULA RASA!  OH THE CLEVER!

19:20 Oh shit, that marshal is trying to kill her!  DO IT!

22:18 I seriously doubt Australians call it "Down Under".  It's like how nobody that lives there calls it "Frisco."

23:40 Okay, so dig this: I know Baldy is called John Locke, so he's going to tie into this whole back-to-the-land, State of Nature type dealie.  And he said a miracle happened to him, and I've seen a picture online of him in a wheelchair.  So I guess he used to be paralyzed but after the crash he was healed.  If that's the fucking last episode twist, I'm gonna be pissed.  Like The Sixth Sense all over again.

24:37 Now Augustus Hill is doing a monologue but there's no giant plastic box.  I'm so confused.

32:20 I bet the favor she wanted was for him to sing "It's Not Unusual."

34:49 THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

35:19 "How could you MISS?!"

36:15 Why do people always throw their cigarettes away when they get frustrated in movies and TV shows?  That can't be satisfying in any way.  And it's a waste of a perfectly good cigarette.

36:55 I bet Locke's whistle attracts the dog.

37:20 Called it again.  I can totally read this show.  Give me two more episodes and I'll know how it ends.  Just watch.

38:33 Kate: "I'm an alien."  [Okay maybe I'll need three or four more episodes. - Ed.]

38:58 "Three days ago we all died."  OMG SPOILERS!!!!!!!!111111111

S1E02: "Pilot (Part 2)"

I wonder if this is the episode where they finally get off the island.

05:00 - Charlie's an addict.  Wow, that wasn't obvious at all.
 
06:32 - The blonde's still a bitch.

07:55 - Wait how is Augustus Hill walking?!

11:21 - "Lardo?"  What a lame fat insult.  The least they could do is call him "Fatty" or crack on his stupid hair or something.

13:48 - I find it hard to believe that Evangeline Lilly would be wearing such pedestrian underwear.  I mean, her bra and panties don't even match!  Yet she obviously manicures her . . . area.  Stupid television.

18:27 - Seriously, what kind of self-respecting kid reads the damn Justice League?

21:59 - You'd think it'd be hard to keep track of characters in this show since we know so few of their names.  Luckily, I tend not to remember character names anyway - Oz took up all the capacity I had for that.  So instead, I keep track by saying, like, oh hey, it's Smoking Redneck, or Bitchy White Girl, or The Dude from "Party of Five."

26:14 - Is this backgammon shit a metaphor?  I never learned how to play that game.  It's for old people.  Old bald people.  With badass scars on they faces.

28:36 - What is in the jungle????  I bet it's just the dog.

28:54 - Most people are probably thinking "What the fuck?!  A fuckin' polar bear?!"  But I'm thinking - how did this motherfucker manage to get a gun on the plane in these post-9/11 times?  Unless - their plane crashed on September 10th.

33:08 - My bet for who the prisoner was?  Evangeline Lilly.  (It would explain the underwear situation.)

34:28 - Oh yeah - called it!

41:00 - Are they listening to a goddamn numbers station?

Sixteen years!

S1E01: "Pilot (Part 1)"

Not a very clever title, I can say that much.  I actually saw the pilot (both parts?  Can't remember) a couple years ago, but I don't remember much of it.  I mean, I remember there was a plane crash.  And some people went back into the plane at some point.  And then some trees were shaking, but that's it.  Oh yeah, and there's a hobbit, right? 

 (Note: All times are approximate, and may or may not be based on semi- or not-at-all legal versions of the show that I may or may not have downloaded off the internet.  Maybe.)

16:20 - Man, this blonde chick is kind of a bitch.

20:03 - Hmm, the jungle must be hungry.

21:18 - WAIT HOW ARE THEY BACK ON THE PLANE AGAIN

23:25 - Oh, flashback.

24:40 - Nice one, Evangeline.  Stealin' a dead kid's shoes.  What a dick.

27:10 - YOU ALL EVERYBODY! 

27:56 - That dog is freaking me out man.

36:25 - Dude got straight-up snatched by a tree monster.

HELLO THERE

This is my first post on my new blog.  I explain its purpose over there on the right.  That is really all you need to know.  This post is basically just a test so I can make sure everything looks right (read:  not stupid) and that the colors are all adjusted to my satisfaction (read:  ugly as hell).