S1E20 - "Do No Harm"

That's the Hippocratic oath.  Named after Hippocrates, this Greek dude.  I don't know much about him.  He probably wore sandals and shit.  I'm too lazy to even look him up on wikipedia.  I do know, however, that he has nothing to do with the word "hypocrite," which although also derived from Greek, and quite similar, has a completely different etymological history.  

01:47  Is he using a sharpened swizzle-stick to inflate dude's lung? 

03:09  Jack's getting married?  I bet his wife dies.  (By the way - the best man?  Scut Farkas from A Christmas Story.  No joke.)

03:39  I bet Boone's thinking "I didn't think I was going to die, but now that you keep saying I'm not going to die, I have my doubts, asshole."

04:45  McCoughnadickname:  "Cato" for Michael.  That one, I don't get.

07:14  Oh hey, it's Julie Bowen.  Uh, Happy Gilmore joke goes here.

08:46  KERRACK!
09:49  And now the Aussie's going into labor.  Great timing, stupid.

14:24  No, Charlie, many people live full lives with stopped hearts.

18:28  It's been a few minutes with no comments, but let's face it, nothing interesting is happening.  Blood transfusion, baby being born, flashbacks to a wedding.  That brief performance of "Heart and Soul" was pretty good, though.  One of the greatest songs ever written in the history of God and Jesus and the World.  God Bless Indiana's own Hoagy Carmichael!

25:01  Oh silly drunk Jack.  Just like your dear old dad.  I guess it was the Tet Offensive that drove him to drink.  Hey, even the reporters saw some shit.  (Look up that reference, dickheads.)

28:02  They gonna chop off his leg!  CHOP IT OFF!  CHOP IT OFF!

30:46  "Don't tell me what I can't do!"  That's Locke's line, you fucking plagiarist.

32:35  This show would be about fifty times better if instead of Jack, the character was Shaq.  Just sayin'.

36:03  Finally Boone's going to die.  Now if only his sister follows him.

36:53  ONE CHILD DIES AS ANOTHER IS BORN.  And dude, that shit is gross.  But did you know that's a CGI baby?  It's true.  The actress actually held a dead baby and they added the newborn in post-production.

38:19  "Tell Shannon . . . she's a cunt."

38:32  RIP Boone.

39:38  And here's the part where the sound disappears, replaced with emotional music, and slow-motion walking down the beach.  A cheesy end to a less than stellar episode.  I mean, there wasn't a single second of Locke, for chrissake.

42:14  "He was murdered!"  No he wasn't, Jack.  You fuckin' dick.

All the Secrets Were Revealed to Me in a Dream

Well, not exactly a dream, but (and this is entirely true,) in that period in between dream and wake, where you're kind of conscious that you're not asleep anymore, but when your mind is still wandering free through the ether?  Yeah, right there, at that spot.  That's when this came to me.  I got in touch with the universal oversoul, became a cosmic love-pulse matrix, and was enlightened as to the goings-on on the island.

Here goes.

The people on the island - the ones who were in the plane crash?  They're all fuckin' robots.  They're all networked into the same mainframe (or server farm, in 21st century computing terms), running variations of the same program or programs.  They've each been programmed with a certain personality, as well as a number of fake memories - think Blade Runner, only with human limitations placed upon them.  They've been placed on the island as an experiment to see how they would interact with one another, before being placed out in the Real World.

The weird murmurs they hear in the jungle?  RF interference.  The crazy French woman and her scientific expedition?  Earlier models, which malfunctioned.  This explains why Locke's legs work now.  A simple malfunction.  It also explains why at certain points, he can't feel pain in his legs, but later, he has trouble working them, etc.  The numbers are some sort of reset code, a fail-safe or dead-man's switch, I'm not sure which.  (Those last two bits, Locke and the numbers, were specifically made aware to me in the dream).  The nature of their networking - how their "minds" and "memories" are all part of the same system - are evident in the way we see glimpses of characters in other characters' back-stories.  Hurley on TV when Jin goes to hassle a suit, Hurley owning the box company Locke works for, Sawyer running into Jack's dad in Australia.
 These people keep coming across each other because there are a limited number of people written into the system.  Computing power and storage is finite, you know. 

So there you have it, mystery solved, don't need to finish the series.  Don't even need to finish this season!

But I will.

Because I love you.

Look at them, they're all pissed because they just found out they're a bunch of goddamn cyborgs.