S1E20 - "Do No Harm"

That's the Hippocratic oath.  Named after Hippocrates, this Greek dude.  I don't know much about him.  He probably wore sandals and shit.  I'm too lazy to even look him up on wikipedia.  I do know, however, that he has nothing to do with the word "hypocrite," which although also derived from Greek, and quite similar, has a completely different etymological history.  

01:47  Is he using a sharpened swizzle-stick to inflate dude's lung? 

03:09  Jack's getting married?  I bet his wife dies.  (By the way - the best man?  Scut Farkas from A Christmas Story.  No joke.)

03:39  I bet Boone's thinking "I didn't think I was going to die, but now that you keep saying I'm not going to die, I have my doubts, asshole."

04:45  McCoughnadickname:  "Cato" for Michael.  That one, I don't get.

07:14  Oh hey, it's Julie Bowen.  Uh, Happy Gilmore joke goes here.

08:46  KERRACK!
09:49  And now the Aussie's going into labor.  Great timing, stupid.

14:24  No, Charlie, many people live full lives with stopped hearts.

18:28  It's been a few minutes with no comments, but let's face it, nothing interesting is happening.  Blood transfusion, baby being born, flashbacks to a wedding.  That brief performance of "Heart and Soul" was pretty good, though.  One of the greatest songs ever written in the history of God and Jesus and the World.  God Bless Indiana's own Hoagy Carmichael!

25:01  Oh silly drunk Jack.  Just like your dear old dad.  I guess it was the Tet Offensive that drove him to drink.  Hey, even the reporters saw some shit.  (Look up that reference, dickheads.)

28:02  They gonna chop off his leg!  CHOP IT OFF!  CHOP IT OFF!

30:46  "Don't tell me what I can't do!"  That's Locke's line, you fucking plagiarist.

32:35  This show would be about fifty times better if instead of Jack, the character was Shaq.  Just sayin'.

36:03  Finally Boone's going to die.  Now if only his sister follows him.

36:53  ONE CHILD DIES AS ANOTHER IS BORN.  And dude, that shit is gross.  But did you know that's a CGI baby?  It's true.  The actress actually held a dead baby and they added the newborn in post-production.

38:19  "Tell Shannon . . . she's a cunt."

38:32  RIP Boone.

39:38  And here's the part where the sound disappears, replaced with emotional music, and slow-motion walking down the beach.  A cheesy end to a less than stellar episode.  I mean, there wasn't a single second of Locke, for chrissake.

42:14  "He was murdered!"  No he wasn't, Jack.  You fuckin' dick.