S1E15 - "Homecoming"

What is homecoming anyway?  As far as I can tell it's just when they do the fall and spring popularity contests at whichever sporting event is in season.  I should look that up on wikipedia.  I'm sure it has pagan origins.  Okay apparently it's supposed to be an alumni thing.  That's ridiculous, I don't remember alumni ever being part of homecoming.  Then again, the amount of extra-cirricular attention I paid in high school could be contained in some sort of abstract teaspoon, I guess.  My afterschool activity was taking a nap. 

01:53  Amnesia?  They should have called this episode "Tabula Rasa" or something.

07:53  YOU ALL EVERYBODY

09:54  Sounds like a helicopter starting uOH SHIT HE JUST GOT DEAD.  Oh well, at least now the Korean woman can start speaking English to everybody else.

12:32  Oh, he's not dead.  Oh well.

18:10  Why is Charlie pouring his heart out to the dog show judge from Best in Show?

19:05  So wait, he's addicted to heroin, not crack?  I obviously don't know my street drugs as well as I thought I did.  I didn't know you could eat heroin.  Then again, do you eat crack?  This is so confusing.  I don't know who I am anymore.

20:43  Don't fall asleep, vampire boy!

22:39  45 castaways left. 

28:24  Please oh please let Locke face off against creepy Ethan Louisville.

30:11  Why would he open the lid of the copier just to puke in it?  What a waste of some perfectly good puke.

34:26  Bet they wish they hadn't broken those handcuffs right about now.

35:40  Oh, way to go Charlie, you just killed the only guy who knew what the fuck was going on.  Of course, I bet he's not really even dead.  But still, you know?  Dang!

38:58  OH SO THAT IS WHY CHARLIE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF SOMEBODY DURP DURP FUHDUR

39:42  "Why do I remember peanut butter?"  I ask myself that all the time.  Actually, true story, I need to get some peanut butter from the store tomorrow.

S1E14 - "Special"

Now, is this describing someone in the episode, or is this a special episode?  I wish it was a "Very Special Episode" like that one time Blossom god addicted to PCP and broke Six's nose.  That happened, right?

 
02:19  Wow, Augustus Hill looks really young in this flashback.  I guess the beard makes all the difference.  I know it does with me.  When I shave my face I end up looking like a creepy 16 year old.  (As opposed to when I do have a beard, and look like a creepy 30 year old).

04:33  He does not like Locke.  Not one bit.

08:07  JUST ANOTHER FEMINAZI SPERMJACKING A MAN THIS IS WHY I AM A MENS RIGHTS ADVOCATE HURRRRRR RONPAUL

10:52  A RAFT!  Of course! 

13:43  Hit by a car!  Oh no, he's going to be paralyzed!

18:27  Threatening to kill a motherfucker?  Not cool, Augustus.

25:50  That dog can smell polar bear menses.

27:43  Note to people:  Birds don't always die when they smack into windows.  Think back to the 2006 (or was it 2007?) UofL/UK basketball game.  A bunch of us, including Ed and Kelly, maybe Ed's cousin Craig were all up at James's place watching the game when we heard a big thunk at the window.  I looked out but didn't see anything.  Someone else showed up - I forget who - and asked about the dead bird outside.  We all ran out, and sure enough, there was a robin, flat on its back, legs up in the air.  We stood around wondering if we should bury it, discussing what to read at the funeral, when all of the sudden it flipped over and stood there looking around, as if to say What the hell was that all about?  We decided to leave it be, and went back inside.  A few minutes later it flew away.  So, uh, yeah.  Head-bonks don't always kill birds.  That's the moral of this story.

30:03  Ironic I'm watching this episode, which is all about fatherhood, on Fathers Day.  Or maybe it's just Alanis Morrisette irony.

32:35  Okay what's in THIS mystery box?  All the drawings he's been sending the kid over the years?  Or did those stop after he got out of the hospital?  I NEED TO KNOW.

32:58  Aaaaaaaaaaand more polar bears out of nowhere.

36:36  Alright is this kid gonna kill himself a polar bear or what?

39:01  Called it on the contents of the mystery box at 32:35.

40:12  This whole time Charlie's been wanting to read the Aussie chick's diary.  So he did.  Lamest B plot ever.  (Or would it be a C plot, if the flashbacks are B plot?)

42:24  HOLY CRAP SHE'S BACK